The Pervocracy’s Greatest Hits

The Missing Stair.

This is the one they’re going to engrave on my tombstone, I think. It’s even got a Wikipedia page! It’s about that one friend that everyone knows, but no one says, is a problem.

How To Have Sex On Purpose.

A transcript of a speech I gave at the University Of Chicago about what it means to have sex without following someone else’s script.

Fifty Shades of Grey

A critical reading/mocking of Fifty Shades of Grey, from the perspective of someone who has actually done real life kink.


Making fun of Cosmopolitan magazine. This goes way back and as a warning, you’ll probably find some not-so-acceptable-nowadays comments in the furthest-back parts of it. But you will also find sex advice like “Press a fork (firmly, but don’t break the skin or anything) into different parts of his body–his butt cheeks, his pecs, his thighs.”


The Last Mountain

An astronomical event is slowly splitting the world in half. A small crew of mountain climbers decides to make the most of the time they have left.

Evaluation of Alternate Nutrition Sources for Persons Affected by Vampirism

ABSTRACT: We performed a series of “taste tests” with persons affected by vampirism (PABV) to evaluate the suitability of fractionated blood products or blood substitutes as PABV nutritional replacements. Several showed potential which might create a pathway to further development of PABV-specific food products.

Try Not To Think About It

There is a certain pattern in the human brain that, once formed, cannot be unformed.



a short, sad, one page one player rpg about healthcare staffing during a COVID crisis. autobiographical.